Capturing Your Grief: Day 4

Treasured Item

Little shirt Abigail wore with her sweet little blood stains.  It is so precious to me.  

Capturing Your Grief, Days 2 and 3

Day 2: Before Loss Self Portrait

So full of joy over our precious baby

Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

So full of pain and sorrow that we don't get to keep her

6 Months

Why is 6 months extra hard?  I miss Abigail so much, sometimes I think I might die from a broken heart! So thankful we are just passing through and this is not our home.  Look forward every day to the day I see her again! Happy 6 months, precious Abigail! You're still changing our lives!

"But consider -- it's one thing for God deliberately to let something happen, even something terrible, for reasons we may not understand.  It would be another for the God who weeps over suffering to wish he could help but have one hand tied behind his back.  Either God rules, or Satan sets the world's agenda and God is limited to reacting.  In which case, the Almighty would become Satan's clean-up boy, sweeping up after the devil has trampled through and done his worst, finding a way to wring good out of the situation somehow.  But it wasn't his best for you, wasn't Plan A, wasn't exactly what he had in mind.  In other words, although God would manage to patch things up, your suffering itself would be meaningless.  One Christian writer who believes that God has little to do with the specific circumstances that come your way expressed it like this:

'In 1982 someone laced capsules of the pain reliever Tylenol with cyanide and then put them back on store shelves in Chicago.  Seven people died after swallowing poisoned pills.  The families of those seven people no doubt agonized trying to find some shred of meaning in why God or fate or luck had picked on their loved ones, of all the people in Chicago.  We can concoct some answer and perhaps take some small comfort in it, but sadly, there was no meaning in those deaths.  Each was a bizarre, horrible coincidence, nothing more.  Therein lies the tragedy.'

No, the real tragedy is that any Christian would settle for such darkness with the light of the Bible shining so clearly.  If God didn't control evil, the result would be evil uncontrolled.  God permits what he hates to achieve what he loves.

-When God Weeps

We know that Abigail's life and death have so much purpose.  And that our suffering has so much purpose, even if we don't understand.  I know that even though Abigail's life was brief on earth, it has such profound meaning!  I know it wasn't just for us here on earth that God created her.  He created her for Heaven! Surely she is shouting for joy and singing praises to our King right now! I can't wait to worship Him with her one day!!

5 Months Since We Said Goodbye

You've been in Heaven for 5 months today.  5 months can seem like an eternity sometimes! We are 5 months closer to you and we cannot wait to be with you again! Our hearts will never stop aching for you.

5 Months Old

Happy 5 months to my sweet baby Abigail! It's so hard not to think about what you might be doing if you were here. I wonder what you might look like and how much you would have grown. Oh how I wish I could see what you're doing right now. We love you and miss you so much!