Capture Your Grief: Day 8

Jewelry

Abigail's actual little prints!

Capture Your Grief: Day 5

Memorial

Abigail's flower bed we planted from some of the flowers that were given to us by friends and family.  It is much bigger than this now!

A pink dogwood tree planted for Abigail at work.  Pink dogwoods were everywhere when Abigail was born and passed away.  They will forever remind us of her.  They are a wonderful reminder of what Christ has done for us, and also a reminder that she is with Him! Praise the Lord!

A pink dogwood in our backyard planted by our friends.

This little rosebush was given to me while I was in the hospital by my sweet little grandmother.  It is huge now!

This butterfly changes colors at night and was given to us by our little friend, Kendyl.  It sits right next to the dogwood tree and we enjoy sitting outside in the evening watching it, thinking and talking about Abigail.

Capture Your Grief: Days 6 and 7

Day 6: What not to Say

Since losing Abigail, I have certainly learned that there is great power in the words that we speak.  It makes me wonder how often have I said something hurtful to someone when I had no idea? Many times I am sure. Words can be SO healing, or so hurtful.  I have learned that it is better not to talk if I'm just talking idly, with no purpose. Eventually idle talk will lead to hurtful words, even if it's unintentional.  I never know what someone may be going through, that my words may cause them pain. So I think it is so important to choose our words wisely.

T- is it true?
H- is it helpful?
I-is it inspired?
N-is it necessary?
K-is it kind?

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3

Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness.
2 Timothy 2:14-16

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.  Therefore stand in awe of God. Ecclesiastes 5:7

Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house.  And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.
1 Timothy 5:13

Don't say anything that would hurt another person.  Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed.  That way, what you say will help those who hear you.  Ephesians 4:29

We all stumble in many ways.  Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.  When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example.  Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  James 3:2-6

Day 7: What to Say

Let me know that you think about Abigail and that you will never forget her!  And please feel free to ask me about her. I would love to tell you all about her! She is no less a part of our life than if she was here with us!

“If you know someone who has lost a child or lost anybody who’s important to them, and you’re afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad 

by reminding them that they died, they didn’t forget they died. You’re not reminding them. What you’re reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that’s a great, great gift.’”
- Elizabeth Edwards

"The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears.  If you are really my friend, let me hear the music of her name! It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul!"- Author Unknown

Thank you Tesha!

Capturing Your Grief: Day 4

Treasured Item

Little shirt Abigail wore with her sweet little blood stains.  It is so precious to me.  

Capturing Your Grief, Days 2 and 3

Day 2: Before Loss Self Portrait

So full of joy over our precious baby

Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait

So full of pain and sorrow that we don't get to keep her

6 Months

Why is 6 months extra hard?  I miss Abigail so much, sometimes I think I might die from a broken heart! So thankful we are just passing through and this is not our home.  Look forward every day to the day I see her again! Happy 6 months, precious Abigail! You're still changing our lives!

"But consider -- it's one thing for God deliberately to let something happen, even something terrible, for reasons we may not understand.  It would be another for the God who weeps over suffering to wish he could help but have one hand tied behind his back.  Either God rules, or Satan sets the world's agenda and God is limited to reacting.  In which case, the Almighty would become Satan's clean-up boy, sweeping up after the devil has trampled through and done his worst, finding a way to wring good out of the situation somehow.  But it wasn't his best for you, wasn't Plan A, wasn't exactly what he had in mind.  In other words, although God would manage to patch things up, your suffering itself would be meaningless.  One Christian writer who believes that God has little to do with the specific circumstances that come your way expressed it like this:

'In 1982 someone laced capsules of the pain reliever Tylenol with cyanide and then put them back on store shelves in Chicago.  Seven people died after swallowing poisoned pills.  The families of those seven people no doubt agonized trying to find some shred of meaning in why God or fate or luck had picked on their loved ones, of all the people in Chicago.  We can concoct some answer and perhaps take some small comfort in it, but sadly, there was no meaning in those deaths.  Each was a bizarre, horrible coincidence, nothing more.  Therein lies the tragedy.'

No, the real tragedy is that any Christian would settle for such darkness with the light of the Bible shining so clearly.  If God didn't control evil, the result would be evil uncontrolled.  God permits what he hates to achieve what he loves.

-When God Weeps

We know that Abigail's life and death have so much purpose.  And that our suffering has so much purpose, even if we don't understand.  I know that even though Abigail's life was brief on earth, it has such profound meaning!  I know it wasn't just for us here on earth that God created her.  He created her for Heaven! Surely she is shouting for joy and singing praises to our King right now! I can't wait to worship Him with her one day!!